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While there may be no such thing as a
perfect relationship, you most certainly can and should have a great
relationship with your partner. What does a great relationship look like? Your
parents' relationship? The kind you see on TV soap operas? Or like the ones in
"chick flicks"? You probably already know if your relationship is good, but if
not, here are some signs to look for:
Do you respect each other? A strong relationship is one where you listen to what
your mate has to say and you respect their thoughts and feelings. No putting
each other down, especially for a laugh in front of others.
A great relationship isn't all about you. Do you support your partner
emotionally? Do you ask his/her opinion on how to handle something? Are you
genuinely interested in him/her and do you encourage them when they're
struggling? Do you show little acts of kindness and thoughtfulness?
In order to have a good relationship you have to have good communication skills.
Don't let little things build up, talk them out. Also, tell your mate what your
needs are and don't expect him/her to just know what pleases you. It is healthy
to have arguments in a relationship but they need to be fair fights with good
communication, no hitting below the belt, solutions agreed upon, and a
conclusion. Arguing should be about finding a solution to a problem, not about
winning.
A healthy relationship offers each of you time apart. Each of you is an
individual and should be able to operate as a whole person apart from each
other. It is important to have your own space too. Conversely, your relationship
together should not be alone or hidden from the rest of the world. Can the two
of you, as a couple, socialize well with other individuals or couples?
Another factor in relationships is whether you both share equally in the daily
responsibilities. Communication is key here. Who pays the bills, cooks, cleans,
brings home the paycheck(s)? Figure it all out to the satisfaction of both
involved so you don't spend time in your relationship feeling dissatisfied and
resentful.
If you spend your time looking for the good in your partner, you definitely will
find an abundance of good in them. If you're concentrating on the little things
you don't like about their personality, you give those things too much attention
and they grow out of proportion. Whatever you focus on in the relationship will
be how the relationship goes. Focus on your partner's kindness, her ability to
make you laugh, or his way of making you breakfast on Saturdays.
Having a great relationship doesn't just happen, it needs to be fed and
nourished to keep it growing healthy. Take stock of your current relationship
and work on any weak areas to make it a great one. |
