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We all know that getting along with family
can be harder than getting along with friends. Why is that? Well, you get to
pick your friends and if you don't like someone, you don't have to hang around
them. Also, you get to know your friends in a deeper way and tend to accept
them, warts and all.
But how do you handle family when the dynamics can sometimes be awkward or
tricky? Here are 7 tips to keep in mind at your next extended family gathering:
1. Respect your elders. If your grandmother
carries on about "kids these days", then listen to what she has to say and
remember where she is coming from. You can turn the conversation around by
asking her what it was like when she was a kid. Ask her about her school, her
school dances, her first job, where they liked to hang out, what the fads were,
etc.
2. A family gathering is not the time or place
to bring up personal arguments or long standing disagreements. Try to bring a
fresh perspective to each new get-together and focus on the now.
3. Get to really know each family member. Spend time with each one
and find out where they're coming from. Perhaps Aunt Sally talks nonstop at
these functions because at her own house she's alone and lonely. Maybe your
sister's brother-in-law, John, brags about his fancy car because he grew up poor
and is proud of his accomplishments. Get to know them as people and develop
relationships with them and you'll probably like them better.
4. Be patient and open-minded. Humor goes a
long way to diffuse potential problems. Be ready to jump in and change the
subject if you see something ugly about to happen, or crack a silly joke to
break up the tension.
5. Don't try to make the family gathering perfect.
No one has the perfect family and no matter how hard you try, you can't stage
the perfect gathering. If it's at your house you can have your house clean, the
food and drink ready to go, and some fun games on hand, but recognize you can't
control people.
6. Keep the conversation on easy-to-talk-about
subjects. That leaves out religion and politics and cousin Jenny's
love life. Tell jokes, even corny ones, tell stories, talk about what you're
thankful for this year, ask about recent accomplishments, etc.
7. Try to celebrate your differences. It
would be a pretty boring get together if you all thought the same way and agreed
about everything. Take note that Justin is a moody teenager this year but could
change the next time you see him. Enjoy any positives about old negative Fred
because he may not be around next year. |
